Reblogged from my post on the IMDB:
Picture an unknown Stephen King pitching this idea for a novel: A bullied girl who, for very shaky reasons, develops telekinesis. King’s would-be agent would have said something like, “A mother who’s a religious nut? That’s promising. Is the devil involved? Devil stories are hot right now.”
“No, I thought I’d make it genetic.”
“Make it what?”
“Genetic.”
After a long pause, the agent says, “Could you make it genetic and have the devil involved?”
“It has nothing to do with the devil. It’s something she inherited from her mother’s side of the family.”
“Inherited from her mother, like money?”
“No like blue or brown eyes.”
“So, her mother’s telekinetic, too?”
“She just carried the gene.”
“Is that like carrying the devil in her womb?”
“No, the devil’s not involved. He isn’t in the story anywhere.”
“If the devil’s not doing it, how does she make things move.”
“She just, sort of, flexes.”
“Flexes what, the devil’s cock? I don’t handle pornography.”
“Not the devil. She just flexes something her mind.”
“So, she flexes something and then what happens?”
“Then things move. Without her touching them.”
“I don’t understand. Doesn’t that violate one of those theories movie scientists always talk about? How can things move by themselves without the devil doing it”
“Just stay with me, okay? Other girls tease and taunt Carrie all through school. Until one day they do something just totally cruel. They cross the line. I mean just a high school atrocity. It’s so bad, one of the mean girls Sue feels sorry about it and lets Carrie take her boyfriend to the prom.”
“Unbelievable.”
“No, please, stay with me. Another mean girl, Chris, doesn’t like that. She sets up a prank to make Carrie prom queen then spill pig’s blood all over her.”
“Where did they get pig’s blood?”
“From a pig.”
“That’s the first thing you’ve said that’s made any sense. Now I think you have something.”
Stephen sighs in relief.”Good.”
“All that pig’s blood all over that virgin girl brings the devil up from Hell to possess her . . .
“NO! There’s. No. Devil. In. This! It’s Carrie herself who gets furious. She uses her powers of telekinesis to get revenge on all her classmates . . .”
“. . . and they call an exorcist to cast out the demon, and she lives happily ever after?”
“No! She goes berserk and destroys the whole town.”
“Without an exorcist? How can this thing end without one?”
“Then she dies.”
“Huh? Wouldn’t that be kind of a downer?”
“Y-es, but you see, it’s a tragedy.”
“A tragedy? What do you think I am? An English Lit teacher? I don’t know those technical terms. Look Stephen. This isn’t completely hopeless. I thought you said her mother was a religious fanatic. Couldn’t she perform an exorcism? A female exorcist would be something new. Can her Mom have huge t*ts?”
“No, but I’ll compromise that. The gym teacher can, okay?”
“Great! She can assist in the exorcism, then. Maybe she can even sacrifice herself to cast the devil out of Carrie.”
Stephen King sighs. Bangs his head on the desk.
“One thing. You said they did something horrible to Carrie to start all this. What did you have in mind?”
“It thought maybe she’d get her first period in the school shower, and the other girls would throw, like, sanitary napkins at her.”
The agent stands up, his face red with rage. “Period? Sanitary napkins? Are you some kind of subversive transsexual?” He points to the door. “Get out of my office you vag-f*g.”
Singing Stars & Shrieking Shadows 